How to Cope when you don’t understand

Today I am up a little early for a Sunday. I am speaking at a local church in my area and I needed to make sure that everything was ready to go for the service. These are days that I love and dread at the same time. The part of me that loves speaking and feels very comfortable in front of large crowds vs. the part of me that struggles with connecting with people one on one. If you were to put me in front of thousands of people I am fine but get me to speak in front of 2 people or try to have a conversation with someone I struggle. Today I got up and typed out a manuscript of the message that I am using today. I normally don’t do that because I move so much but there is so much that I wanted to say I did not want to leave anything out. It was very interesting where I went with this message and actually I really like the fact that I am not going to be free speaking. Let’s see how I feel when I get up in front of people, and if I can make the message something that they will take and put it in their hearts.

This weekend has been interesting. Eman has been sick and that makes for an interesting time here at the house. We took him to the Doctor and he has Broncatitus which is not great but all in all it is good that we caught it early and the medicine that we got hopefully will help him feel better. We will see tomorrow how that goes.

PT is playing soccer and loves it. We went to his game yesterday and he tells me he scored 6 goals, ok he didn’t but he is truly loving the game, I can only hope that he will get better at it and it could be something that he loves for a long time. I will not push him to do anything that he doesn’t want too but I do want him to love what he does. Let’s see where this goes.

This week will be interesting it is homecoming week at the school where I teach, I have ADMIN duty 4 days this week which means I won’t be home before 10pm. That is hard for the family but we are so lucky to have grandparents, and family that live close enough that we can get some help.


When parents don’t know what their kids are doing

Today I took my boys to the park for some time to play and get out of the house. My wife has been sick for two days and the boys were starting to get stir crazy. They couldn’t go into the room where mom was and yet she was here which is not normal for them during the week. So after 2 days of taking care of her and the boys I needed to get out of the house and just relax. Little did I know that the park was going to be a place where my biggest fears come to life.

My oldest son PT has a language delay. He has the body of a 7 year old but the communication skills of a 3 year old. Actually our three year old Eman communicates better than PT. We have seen great progress this year but there is still the delay. As a parent you never want your children to feel pain, but What is really hard is when I hear children talk about my son and call him stupid or dumb. He is neither he is very smart and has strengths that make him really special.

So we get to our local park and there are a couple of groups of kids there. Normally that is a good thing because the kids just chase each other and I sit over in a bench and observe. I am paranoid I want to make sure that my kids act correctly and don’t hurt any of the other children. In today’s society that is not something that people do. They don’t teach responsibility they teach entitlement. I never want my kids to think that they deserve something just because I want them to work for it and to earn it. That is the only way that something is special and means anything.

So I can tell that this is going to be interesting because one of the parents there was already smoking. Now I could care less if you smoke or not. Personally I never have smoked and never want too because see what it can do to you but I have my addictions so who am I to judge you, but when you are at a public park where kids are I think that you should be a little more considerate as it pertains to what you do around kids that are not yours,her daughter was loud and a little pushy. My youngest was in a swing and she tried to push him out of it but i was right there a couple of feet away and when she saw me she moved to another swing so crisis avoided. The funny thing is Eman has the concentration of a nat so he moved onto his next thing about 30seconds later.

PT likes to play chase but he really doesn’t have good conversation skills. If you don’t spend a lot of time with him you would think that the things he says are strange but in reality they are memorized phrases that he has learned from TV or Movies. It is called echolalia and it is part of his disability he can watch a tv show and after 2 times of seeing the show he knows 90% of the lines and songs. Well the same young girl told him to stop chasing her and normally that does not bother me but this time she is screaming at my son to stop chasing her because he is dumb and stupid and ask stupid questions. Now here is what really annoyed me. I was on the other side of the playground and heard her, but her mom who was 10 feet away from her child said nothing to her. No “honey we don’t call people names” she said nothing.

I never want my son hurt and the thing is he doesn’t even know that she was making a fun of him but it was killing me! I wanted to walk over there take the little girl by the arms and explain to her that my son was not stupid but he was not what we call “normal”. As a parents we try really hard to make sure that our children treat others right, and that they learn what they should say and what they shouldn’t. That is a process that we continue to refine but we are to show our boys what it means to be considerate and thoughtful.

Having a son with a language delay I struggle with how people will treat him and how people look at me as a parent. I know I shouldn’t but so many times we base success off of what our children do, and if they don’t succeed like we or others think they should we view ourselves as failures. I know this is not how we should judge success but in a world where people have no filter and say whatever they want too I just want my son to have a good life and to be safe.

So learned a lot about myself and others today. I learned that I want to see my son have fun but I also want others to accept him for the special boy he truly is! I also hope that parents will take more time with their children to teach them to think before they speak it will really save them much needed problems in the future.

Kids vs Career

This is the beginning of a new experience for me. I am not really a blogger, or a writer for that matter. I am a tech geek but not good enough to make a living out of it. I am a teacher, married to a teacher/administrator and we raise two little boys PT who is 6 and Eman who is 3. My morning routine is pretty easy. Get up shower, and get the boys lunches ready. Go back upstairs get PT up and get him dressed. Kiss my wife and head to work. Then there are the afternoons. Get the boys, get them home keep them from killing each other all the while trying to make dinner, and possibly clean up a little before my wife gets home.

My drive to work gives me some time to reflect on things and today was no exception. I have XM radio in my Chevy Astro Van (it is not the coolest car around but everyone tells me as long as I keep the oil change it will last me forever.) Ok back to my story…I use this time in the morning to really focus in my relationship with God today was no exception. The music that I listen too on my radio was once again picked just for me. Every song spoke to my heart not only as a husband but also as a father. My wife tells me that what we listen too can set the mood for the entire day, and I totally agree. I feel refreshed and ready to face a day after listening to great music.

Today I needed some worship time because graduation was Monday for my seniors. There were 4 seniors that I really mentored and bonded with and they are now moving on to a new part of life. It is now time to move to a new chapter in life for them and for me as well. There will always be students that I impact and the best thing I can do is make sure that they get the very best from me all the time.

Why start this blog? Wow what a great question and my answer is I have no idea! Honestly I guess I want a place to write my thoughts down and just see if anyone else out there is going through the same things I do on a daily basis.

So here is what I learned today. 1. We can trust in the God that loves us and died for us…
2. Crushed up frosted flakes in my wife’s car is really hard to get out with a dirt devil vac.
3. This blogging thing can be fun, so I might just keep it up